When this posts, I’ll be on the road back to San Francisco.
The BF and I flew to Cuba from LAX after a big wedding in southern California. So now we have to drive our asses back to San Francisco. It’s funny because it seems like being en route somewhere is kind of the physical reality of limbo. Or is it?
The journey is the destination. –Dan Eldon
That quote is both awesome and annoying. It reminds me that if I’m truly present that there is nothing else except what is immediately before me; there is no “limbo.” Yet it also hints that each moment is consumed with movement. Change is the only constant.
I am hoping to write something about our trip to Cuba. It’s a strange thing to sit here in my home and think that in two weeks I’ll have been through a myriad of experiences and then be right back in this spot. Seated and writing. Yet, something will be different and that something is me.
The minute I put pressure on myself to write in a particular way, I get blocked and overwhelmed by anxiety. It’s an immediate writing-killer. So don’t expect anything profound. It’s likely to be an account of what we experienced sprinkled with ideas or advice on taking a trip to Havana. I look forward to visiting a country that has developed in a completely different way from ours. And in the mean time, I’ll be living into the idea that the journey is the destination.
What journey are you on right now? What destination do you have in mind?
Viva Adventure! XO ❤ LB
When this posts, I’ll be en route to Cuba.
Because you know what they say… when stuck in limbo, make sure to plan a few bucket list adventures. Never heard that one? Well, now you have. There’s nothing like good old fashioned travel and culture shock to blow your brains wide open and see life through a different lens. And increase your gratitude by a bajillion.
Since the moment I hired him, I knew the BF had plans to go to medical school. However, I didn’t know that eventually we would be dating. I never thought I would date someone on the medical path. I have many doctors in my family and while I respect the profession, I have found it too academically rigid for my own liking. It feels a bit too straight and narrow, if you know what I mean. I prefer the artists way – the woo-ey, winding, spontaneous way.
So when the BF and I shacked up, I made it clear that travel is a priority for me. Given the long distance start to our relationship, it was also required of us to make the situation work. That was a good way to ease us into what future trips would be like. I also quickly began to leverage the fact that if he was going to attend medical school, then any free time before then should be treated as sacred adventure time. Once he is a slave to his medical institution, I believe our vagabonding days will be numbered for quite a few years. So in the meantime, I’m gonna milk it for all its worth.
In order to capitalize on these limited opportunities, assuming that medical school is right around the corner, I’ve been stacking up the trips. This is both a good way to fill your time and spend your money while floating in limbo. Every penny spent on visiting friends, exploring foreign lands, and experiencing new activities is an investment in your character.
With a change of scenery it is much easier to leave your worries behind and shift your perception of reality. These adventures also offer an opportunity to disconnect for our technologically consumed lives and simply be present with the road that lies before us.
What is one of your most memorable trips? How do you disconnect to reconnect? I’d love to hear your stories.
With love from Cuba ❤ LB
Wild Success! Is the flashing neon banner inside my mind this week. In direct response to last weeks post: How to Not Accept Right Now, I have to say that I feel amazing. I mean, the limbo continues and I feel torn and as anxious as ever. But despite all that, I got really lucky and managed to accomplish some big tasks.
In the face of uncertainty, I leaned into my coaching practice. I had 6 coaching sessions this week, 5 of which I lead and facilitated. The structure that comes with my coaching program is very welcome during limbo. Having class and assignments that need to be completed by a certain date means that there is just the right amount of pressure to get my ass in gear. So I can only spend so much time planning my unknown future before I have focus.
Putting my focus on others and being in a position to create a positive atmosphere for someone else transformed my week. The genuine conversations I was a part of brought me into the present moment. And the fact that those conversations weren’t about me or what I am doing (most of them weren’t) empowered me to give more of myself and make the most of what we have right now.
The lucky part of all of this is what those around me brought to the table. The boyfriend had 3 days off this week and offered to help me complete the daunting task of painting my childhood room. This project took a full three days of prep and painting. Unfortunately, no mural has been completed yet, but the blank white canvas awaits. I’m 99% certain this project would still be looming before me without his help and the time frame.
Next, the way my clients showed up to their sessions blew me out of the water. The authenticity and vulnerability that they continue to demonstrate is awe-inspiring. And I am so grateful because it helps me feel an immense sense of gratitude. It’s exactly what I needed to temper my lack of focus.
So I found myself being catapulted into the present moment over the last week. I am elated. Where I was being bogged down in uncertainty suddenly lent itself to accomplishing a task that has been on the to do list forever. And I had a hunky man to help me complete the job in half the time it would have taken me otherwise. The icing on top is that I got to step into my role as coach this week and feel deeply connected to my clients. I’ve made sure to do a lot of writing about these things to infuse myself with a sense of gratitude and being in the now.
When was the last time you felt the sensation of wild success?! Do you have a success dance move? Because I’m working on my “Baby Groot” to celebrate all the good shit right now.
XO, homies ❤ LB
I was going to write a post called “how to accept right now.” It started with: “I don’t feel qualified to write this post. Especially not right now.”
So I changed it. Let’s talk about how NOT to accept each moment as it rushes by!
One of the greatest ways to not be present is to fantasize about the future constantly. Your current situation is boring, routine, mundane, or perhaps anxiety inducing. It may be that your future is uncertain, which leads to anxiety and excitement because there are so many unknown factors that your mind is racing to plan all the details that you couldn’t possibly pin down right now. It’s a nice place to be, the future. The future in the minds eye has no limits. Everything can be perfect and awesome and easy in the future. That distant point out on the horizon, a new day not yet defined.
Another great way to not accept right now is by dwelling in the past and reviewing various scenarios of your life over and over and over again. You worry about that embarrassing thing you said or the obnoxious comment your friend made, what did they mean by that? You’re reliving the glory of a promotion or a night out, you worry, you reminisce, you dream of days past. Things were better, funner (let’s make funner an official word), and less complicated back then.
A third way to not be present is to switch wildly between these two states. You slip in and out of time, writing lists in your head, praying you won’t forget that one important thing. Then you go on Facebook and review your memories for the week and watch a random video (or 20) until the slamming of a door jolts you back into reality. How long were you in the internet hole for? Who knows! You keep clicking away.
This is me right now. I moderate my mega-ADD (self diagnosed for my current situation) with some meditation in the morning and regular exercise. However, my mysterious and unknown fate for the next few months means that my brain wants to live in and plan for the future constantly! I am working hard on bringing meaning, appreciation, and some adventure into my everyday moments.
How do you deal with limbo? What’s occupying most of your brain space at the moment? Please share!
XO ❤ LB
Since joining the life and business coaching program with iPEC in March, I probably have more accountability now than I have in the last year and a half. This is a welcome change in my life. My work at San Francisco CrossFit and my obsession with goals have taught me that the most effective way to accomplish anything is get help and get accountable. STAT.
If you’re serious about getting something done, then get someone on board who is going to make sure there’s a consequence if it doesn’t happen. It’s also nice if this person can celebrate with you once your task is accomplished, as well.
There are many different forms of accountability, though they aren’t all created equal. I’d say one of the biggest and most challenging goals is weight loss. Weight loss and fitness habits require a myriad of small and big changes in ones lifestyle. So trying to accomplish them alone is futile. Want to lose 10 pounds and get into a fitness routine? Get a friend on board. Hell, get a whole community on board. There’s nothing quite like building supportive relationships while going through tough changes.
Your friend who is your workout or check in buddy will be helpful in that they’ll add a sense of responsibility and pressure. Add money into the mix and the stakes get a little higher. Every time you miss your work out, you owe them $10. Or maybe $100! Whatever it takes.
I’m incorporating this into my own life at the moment by having my coach hold me accountable to getting help fixing my computer and studying for class. I check in with them at least once a week to discuss the progress that I’ve made or otherwise, what’s holding me back. I also use this in my art practice.
There’s nothing quite like an art show deadline to get your ass in gear. Not only does the paint have to be (mostly) dry, but it has to be ready to hang, with a title and a price. And that gets real fast if you’re setting up a show or a booth all by yourself.
What’s something you’re trying to tackle at the moment? Is something getting in the way?
Write to me about it.
XO ❤ LB